Is one of your children stealing?
If so, there is no need to go into a total panic. Stay calm. There are a number of reasons that this may occur.
Behavior problems in children seem to be increasing, but it is important not to simply assume that your child has a problem.
Pretty nearly all kids steal at sometime in their lives, primarily when they are young. Kiddies simply can’t understand that something that belongs to someone else is not theirs to take.
Most often, a child regularly sees that mommy or daddy go to the shop, choose something nice, then give the shopkeeper money from their wallets and come home again.
Remember, kids mimic whatever they see and hear.
So, it is perfectly natural for them to take some of the money from Mommy or Daddy, go to the shop around the corner and once they get home, stuff themselves with the sweets they purchased, or sit in the lounge and happily play with the pile of cheap toys they bought.
This happened with my own child. He was perfectly honest about the fact that he had taken the money from my purse and the fact that he wanted a new toy. I clearly recall him saying “…but mommy takes money and buys things from the shop.”
He was quite correct. I had just never thought to teach him more diligently about the fact that if it did not belong to him personally, then he could not take an item without asking permission, be it money or anything else. I simply assumed that he understood enough to know that my purse was out of bounds.
As in many instances of the various behavior problems in children, the issue of children stealing can be related to a variety of causes, such as chemical imbalances in the brain, factors in the home or even inherited genetics.
Often when a child sees another child being admired and fawned over at school because of something that he or she may have, they too want the item, they too want the admiration and attention that they may be lacking and so they take the other child’s possession hoping it will make them feel good as well.
Children sometimes resort to stealing because they feel insecure, or unloved. It might also be because of a dare or peer pressure, or simply to give themselves a sense of being in control. The core problem could be at school or at home.
Do not have hysterics and over-react to the situation.
Be very careful about simply accusing your child as a thief. In fact it would be far better to avoid the use of the words “thief” and “steal” until you are quite sure that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the act was in fact done maliciously.
Once you know that your child has stolen something, you will have to ensure that they do something to correct the wrong. It could be as simple as returning the object to the person concerned and apologizing, or perhaps doing chores to earn sufficient money to pay for what was taken. Once the “punishment” is over, do not refer to the matter again.
Many years ago one enterprising father, when he discovered that his two teenage sons had “borrowed” his car for a joy-ride, marched them off to the local police station and insisted that they be locked up for the night. Of course thirty years ago it was a perfectly safe thing to do. I certainly would not advocate that you bundle your little darling off to the “cop shop” in this day and age. And yet…a year ago that is what one set of parents did with their daughter. First they called the local police station and told them what they wanted to do. Then they took their little daughter in and the child was taken to the cells for an hour and given a stern lecture by a large policeman. A harsh lesson I admit, but the child has stolen nothing since.
Try to find out why your kid steals. Build up his confidence in himself. Make sure that he is fully aware of your rules and the guidelines within which he can act. Provide loving emotional security.
In the case that no matter what you do, your child continues to steal, you may need the help of a professional counsellor to get to the bottom of the problem and effect a change in his behavior.
Do remember that behavior problems in children are not deliberate as such. The child or teenager cannot help himself, it is not his fault and it is not yours, but you are going to need to assist him or her as much as possible, which also means you are going to need to research the problem and find resources that will help you.
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Many thanks for your kindness and courtesy
Sandy
